Last night they brought out the bigger bowl and I drank a huge bowl to start with. During the first bowl I didn’t experience the visions of the Yage or get the in the zone with the Yage but I did have more inner visions and experiences.
My intentions for the ceremony were to help me heal through the rest of the relationship I had this year. The other intention was to open my heart back up so I can expand through the heart and get the diamond heart structure going strong in the coming months while I’m back in Colorado.
Both of the intentions were connected with what I received help and guidance with on the first bowl of the medicine. At first Kuan Yin came in and I saw her and felt her presence, but then Mother Mary came in on the side of her and then came in front of her and she sort of took over. Mother Mary was extremely present in 2020 in Ecuador and was there during the relationship I had. So was Jesus.
She came in and the interaction was about forgiveness. She said if I want to open my heart and expand that area then I need to come back around to forgiveness. She said that as a soul through many lifetimes forgiveness has been something I have struggled with. Both forgiving others and forgiving myself. She said that is a very vital key component to my expansion in this next phase and in this lifetime as a growth for me into my ascension process.
She went on to say that forgiveness is not done through thought but through feeling and is an ability/skill that all souls have within them. It’s hard coded into each of us that we are all capable of. She said that oftentimes, what blocks forgiveness are excuses and justifications. Such as “I need to understand more of the situation before I can forgive” or other variations of this. Like just not being able to understand how someone could do this to you or treat you this way and then holding onto that which prevents you from healing and moving forward. She also reminded me that if you can’t forgive another you can’t forgive yourself and vice versa. Because all are one and all are God and reflections of one another.
After she said that part about forgiveness being a part of the soul that we have within us, I went deep within myself and ended up in this sort of semi dark chamber that kind of looked like a laboratory with tanks. One of the tanks came out and came to the center where I was, it brought a big yellow crystal that showed up in front of me, about the size of a person. After that another tank came out with a green crystal that was the same. I knew this was the part of me that was about being able to forgive. I took the crystals and expanded out of that space and let the crystals merge with my whole being and integrate.
I don’t know if the next two parts were before or after the second bowl, I believe they were shortly after I took the second bowl. I received a huge second bowl that was prayed into strongly and knew this bowl was going to take me there haha.
I looked at my heart from outside of the heart. I saw that there were two black rings around my heart that were keeping it bound, and the rings were cycling around the heart in different directions. I removed the rings and felt a sigh of relief from my heart, that it could expand again. The rings looked very much like wedding bands, which would explain a lot for me.
The next thing I saw was this huge black skull inside of me. Attached to the skull were these black root looking things that were more like stone. They were attached to a black bottom and to the side of a black cliff. It was eons worth of buildup of dark shit within me. I used the golden flame of God and removed the skull but the roots kept attaching back to it. I expanded the flame to the entire area and continued to work on it and there was a gold portal to God that was there. I got the skull and was able to send it through. The rest of it was so massive that it took time for me to break it apart in pieces and send the pieces through the portal until it was all clear.
Sometime shortly after that the medicine really started to kick in. My time in Ecuador with the medicine I experience the same thing each time when the medicine has kicked in and starts to really go into gear. I see a net of energy with dots everywhere. And I see this with my physical eyes when they are open. Oftentimes at that point is when I can see energies or spirits, or sense them around me. Then shortly after or at the same time my inner vision has the Yage vision of the colors and very vivid experiences.
That net came in and I started feeling the medicine more intensely and more intensely. It kept building and building until I started to see all this quantum geometry, ribbons, and colors in my 3rd eye. I’ve experienced that once or twice before where it’s a completely psychedelic type of vision of the quantum realm. But this time was different and the most intense. It started to become more and more immersive.
Within the designs things started to structure like hammocks spinning in a wheel of colors and light and there was a being within one of them. It was like he was standing on a boat that would spin around with other of the same parts, like part of a mechanic of reality. As it became more and more intense I became fully immersed into this space. I would say it was another dimension, would be accurate, but it was the fabric of the universe and reality itself. I ended up next to this being who I would name a sage of the fabric of the universe if I could give him a name. I started interacting with him in this space, I didn’t get the impression he has visitors often.
We were speaking telepathically so everything was instant and I had asked him if this is how he perceives this space, the way I was with all these colors and geometry. He said no that is just how I perceive it, that he perceives it differently. He was very happy and friendly throughout the interaction.
While fully in this space, that was outside of time, while on the little boat thing he showed me that he could freeze everything and stopped all the moving parts, so it was like we were in a moment of stillness, and then everything started spinning and functioning again like it had before.
He told me his duty and purpose was to manage the fabric of creation from this level, the construct of reality. I asked him what my duty or purpose was and he said “Be the light.” He said it once more.
When I left the space it was like an exchange with him that he was very happy to have me visit and that I could come back and see him again.
After I came out of that space and was back in this reality/dimension the medicine was still extremely strong. The next level of the net sort of thing I see with my physical eyes was there.. I was able to see diamond sparkles through everything and the net was more pronounced. When I lit my lighter I could see the aura and energy around the flame, the light in the water droplets that were on my hands from the rain and so on. That continued and during this same time I started hearing and sensing this loud buzzing noise around me. It was like chain saws or a loud motor, humming. I could feel its presence in different parts around me and it was at times almost overwhelming.
When the humming started growing louder and more intense the rain would get more intense, like it was the mechanic controlling the rain. And then it got so loud and was humming so much and at the same time the rain came down so hard, with lightning and thunder. This continued for about 20-30 minutes where I was hearing this motor thing that would get softer and more quiet when the rain would get softer and then pick back up when the rain got heavier. It’s really hard to describe it as it was such a unique experience.
When all that wore down more, I managed to puke and after I puked everything got calm for me and it was over. I was feeling sober and very alert with high energy. And was and still am taking in the experience. It was all done and over by 2:30AM, which can be somewhat early for a ceremony sometimes. After that I just sat in aw and recollection of the experience and after about an hour longer, became tired and was able to rest.